He is nothing like my Dad

Are you a daddy’s little girl? Then undoubtedly your mind will be imprinted with your pa’s quality, looking for the same in your partner. You would be happy as a clam when you realise that your significant other is just the clone of your dad. There may be moments of remarkable expressions like ‘Wow! I feel like I have known him my whole life!’  I would call this the law of familiarity. Growing up, we tend to familiarise with a certain type of person and will start to imbibe their endearing traits registering a ‘role model’ image on our minds. And when you meet your potential partner who is both professionally and personally indistinguishable from your father, then you will be starting to feel a great sense of comfort – ‘Ah! Nothing has changed’. And it’s not just women. Undeniably, most men are likely to marry a women who shares the character traits of his mom!

A father is the first man every girl gets to know. He is the first person who offered you a broad outlook of life, provided emotional bonding, a sense of security and helped you come out of the cocoon. Over and above that, he would have given you the nerve wrecking guts and a push over to do the things you always wanted to do. With that in mind, you tend to develop an attraction or tendency to be drawn towards men who resemble your father in one way or another…for better or worse!  Better - If a girl has a strong, respectful father who provides her with all the independence and introduce her to the world of responsibility, then the girl may end up treating her partner with same compassion, respect and embrace shared responsibilities.  Worse – If a girl has an overprotective father who gets her everything under the sun to make the girl happy, hand holding her throughout the growing up process, then the girl tend to expect the same entitlement from her partner, constantly craving for attention and may not ready to accept shared responsibility (which is very imperative in today’s world !)  Sometimes putting your partner in the parent role suffocates the relationship and may cause things to go from bad to worse.

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Be it a princess or tomboy, the most responsible or the most pampered one, every girl prides herself with a character adoptive to their fathers’ and owes it to them. I adore every aspects of father and daughter entanglement. The above said, I didn't have a slightest expectation about my life partner to mirror the traits of my father. My father is hardworking and has taken a lot of responsibilities at a very young age. He is strict in his guidelines and perfectionist but has given us the best. He instilled in me the importance of time, personal responsibility and savings. As a kid, I always remember him preaching his ten commandments in the house – 

Early to bed, early to rise. 

Atleast one Veggie per day. 

Save money. 

Keep your things organised and safe. 

Be punctual and on time. 

Drink lots of water. 

Help with house chores. 

Watch your words when you are angry. 

Waste not want not - Do not waste anything and you will always have enough. 

Walking is the best medicine so, Walk till you drop.

I must admit that there were times when I wanted to slip through his fingers.  It took me a while to realise what he has given me. As I grew older, I started getting a better understanding of him since I found more and more of him in me! A girl has two episodes in her life and having lived the first episode which shaped me into what I am today, I wished my second episode would be as good as first but with lots of twist and turns and hopefully interesting. I didn't want a photocopy of my dad in the second part too and hence my heart yearned for someone who surprises me with a completely different package. After all, I believe life is full of characters and if you are lucky enough you will get to meet one every day. And then, I met this one! The one who loves you unconditionally no matter how imperfect you are, never mind what you cook and how you look and love you for what you are. I believed his ten commandments are way cooler than my dad’s (read in correlation with my dad’s)

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Sleep is something precious in today’s lifestyle, you are lucky if you get a sound one (though he is a 5 amer).

Plants are for animals, hence try to take it minimally. 

There is no point in saving money when you can’t make your loved ones happy and comfortable. 

I hate museums. 

Time is precious, capitalise your waiting time instead of waiting for someone who is not worth it. 

Pepsi and coke will also do, try to save water. 

There is nothing called helping someone in house chores, I always consider shared responsibility is mandatory. 

Being silent irritates your opponent more than arguing (he does this all the time with me). 

A little bit excess will always avoid occasional disappointments. 

Playing run and chase with your toddler equally burns calories.

Liberty, equality and fraternity is what I was experiencing each day in my household. But sooner or later, I realised these two men were like two peas in a pod. Just that, my father taught me some great life lessons while my husband taught me more about myself! Both men believed that hard work is the road map to the soul and was left with responsibility at a very young age (my husband lost his father when he was 9). My father instills his values and belief into each and every one he cares giving tidbits of advice at the drop of a hat and my husband believes that experience is the key to learning and being messy doesn't hurt because people who are always right will never make history. And there are instances he admired my dad “You are so lucky! I wish I had a dad like him.” It is very difficult to impress my dad but I could still picture the day we went for shopping and my dad gave me a little nudge and said “ Ask your mom, I had never been so patient while she picked up her favourite clothes, neither had I suggested on what suits her the best. I would get bored in just few minutes waiting or not wait at all. And look at you. You have got a very good man!”  He exclaimed looking at my husband who patiently stood few feet away from us smiling at me warmly. For a moment, I felt he might not be like my dad but he is the best I've got. I have got these two amazing men, one who laid a solid foundation for the family and other who showers unconditional love for them. I have no regrets seeing them occupy unique places in my life and being a wonderful examples for my children, cos they fill my heart and make my world go round!

- Dedicated to the two amazing men in my life !