He is nothing like my Dad

Are you a daddy’s little girl? Then undoubtedly your mind will be imprinted with your pa’s quality, looking for the same in your partner. You would be happy as a clam when you realise that your significant other is just the clone of your dad. There may be moments of remarkable expressions like ‘Wow! I feel like I have known him my whole life!’  I would call this the law of familiarity. Growing up, we tend to familiarise with a certain type of person and will start to imbibe their endearing traits registering a ‘role model’ image on our minds. And when you meet your potential partner who is both professionally and personally indistinguishable from your father, then you will be starting to feel a great sense of comfort – ‘Ah! Nothing has changed’. And it’s not just women. Undeniably, most men are likely to marry a women who shares the character traits of his mom!

A father is the first man every girl gets to know. He is the first person who offered you a broad outlook of life, provided emotional bonding, a sense of security and helped you come out of the cocoon. Over and above that, he would have given you the nerve wrecking guts and a push over to do the things you always wanted to do. With that in mind, you tend to develop an attraction or tendency to be drawn towards men who resemble your father in one way or another…for better or worse!  Better - If a girl has a strong, respectful father who provides her with all the independence and introduce her to the world of responsibility, then the girl may end up treating her partner with same compassion, respect and embrace shared responsibilities.  Worse – If a girl has an overprotective father who gets her everything under the sun to make the girl happy, hand holding her throughout the growing up process, then the girl tend to expect the same entitlement from her partner, constantly craving for attention and may not ready to accept shared responsibility (which is very imperative in today’s world !)  Sometimes putting your partner in the parent role suffocates the relationship and may cause things to go from bad to worse.

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Be it a princess or tomboy, the most responsible or the most pampered one, every girl prides herself with a character adoptive to their fathers’ and owes it to them. I adore every aspects of father and daughter entanglement. The above said, I didn't have a slightest expectation about my life partner to mirror the traits of my father. My father is hardworking and has taken a lot of responsibilities at a very young age. He is strict in his guidelines and perfectionist but has given us the best. He instilled in me the importance of time, personal responsibility and savings. As a kid, I always remember him preaching his ten commandments in the house – 

Early to bed, early to rise. 

Atleast one Veggie per day. 

Save money. 

Keep your things organised and safe. 

Be punctual and on time. 

Drink lots of water. 

Help with house chores. 

Watch your words when you are angry. 

Waste not want not - Do not waste anything and you will always have enough. 

Walking is the best medicine so, Walk till you drop.

I must admit that there were times when I wanted to slip through his fingers.  It took me a while to realise what he has given me. As I grew older, I started getting a better understanding of him since I found more and more of him in me! A girl has two episodes in her life and having lived the first episode which shaped me into what I am today, I wished my second episode would be as good as first but with lots of twist and turns and hopefully interesting. I didn't want a photocopy of my dad in the second part too and hence my heart yearned for someone who surprises me with a completely different package. After all, I believe life is full of characters and if you are lucky enough you will get to meet one every day. And then, I met this one! The one who loves you unconditionally no matter how imperfect you are, never mind what you cook and how you look and love you for what you are. I believed his ten commandments are way cooler than my dad’s (read in correlation with my dad’s)

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Sleep is something precious in today’s lifestyle, you are lucky if you get a sound one (though he is a 5 amer).

Plants are for animals, hence try to take it minimally. 

There is no point in saving money when you can’t make your loved ones happy and comfortable. 

I hate museums. 

Time is precious, capitalise your waiting time instead of waiting for someone who is not worth it. 

Pepsi and coke will also do, try to save water. 

There is nothing called helping someone in house chores, I always consider shared responsibility is mandatory. 

Being silent irritates your opponent more than arguing (he does this all the time with me). 

A little bit excess will always avoid occasional disappointments. 

Playing run and chase with your toddler equally burns calories.

Liberty, equality and fraternity is what I was experiencing each day in my household. But sooner or later, I realised these two men were like two peas in a pod. Just that, my father taught me some great life lessons while my husband taught me more about myself! Both men believed that hard work is the road map to the soul and was left with responsibility at a very young age (my husband lost his father when he was 9). My father instills his values and belief into each and every one he cares giving tidbits of advice at the drop of a hat and my husband believes that experience is the key to learning and being messy doesn't hurt because people who are always right will never make history. And there are instances he admired my dad “You are so lucky! I wish I had a dad like him.” It is very difficult to impress my dad but I could still picture the day we went for shopping and my dad gave me a little nudge and said “ Ask your mom, I had never been so patient while she picked up her favourite clothes, neither had I suggested on what suits her the best. I would get bored in just few minutes waiting or not wait at all. And look at you. You have got a very good man!”  He exclaimed looking at my husband who patiently stood few feet away from us smiling at me warmly. For a moment, I felt he might not be like my dad but he is the best I've got. I have got these two amazing men, one who laid a solid foundation for the family and other who showers unconditional love for them. I have no regrets seeing them occupy unique places in my life and being a wonderful examples for my children, cos they fill my heart and make my world go round!

- Dedicated to the two amazing men in my life !

I wish I was a kid again !

We started an interesting conversation among our friends, where one exclaimed “I wish I was a kid again!” She continued “ I wanted to go back to my childhood and I would relish all the best moments I had then not knowing what future holds for me…I wish I had fun again rather than money, work and responsibilities…I really miss those days “ . Everyone joined her in recollecting the reminiscence of childhood and all the fun it brought, how things were so much easier as a kid and how they can go back in time to revive their childhood once again. The conversation steered into an interesting direction, in a more loquacious mood with each of them letting free their intuitions. Starting from a weird suggestion of adding a rewind button to life, fantasizing some fairy tale magic and movies like ’17 again’ and some sensible discussion on time travel, it surprisingly turned out to be a good conversation piece. And there was this friend of mine who stayed tight-lipped throughout the conversation. Silence in the midst of such a rambling?! I really want to probe the reason behind her silence while rest of the girls were gibbering so much about going back to the past. ‘Why don’t you say something? I mean…How do you feel about this?’ I tried to break her silence and everyone just gawked at her reminding themselves that they totally forgot the presence of that species who never uttered a word in their super exciting conversation! The silent girl shrugged “I don’t want to go back to the past or dwell on it” The girls awwwwwed. She continued “Of course I cherish my childhood…but that doesn't mean that I want to time travel to past and live my life once again. Girls, remember once you go back to childhood you never gonna stay like that forever…You have to grow up to become what you are now. You have to take up your board exams with the pressure of getting into the best college again, you have to graduate with flying colours with the pressure of landing in a good job again, you have to find that one person with whom you gonna cherish the rest of the life again, falling in love and coping up with break-ups, you have to see the loss of some of your dear ones again, get married and go through that entire pregnancy saga…feel nauseated again and experience that labour pain and parenting nightmares again in bringing up that baby which is now going to school……” Man, you should see those girls. Believe me, she just knocked them ‘almost unconscious’ with her breath-taking lecture! She didn't leave it there “Remember, as a kid you always wanted to grow up (remember that seven minutes in heaven in the movie 13 going on 30)…And now you have this life you always wanted. Then, why do you want to go back to the past and experience them all over again? I don’t want to carry that baggage, I am out of it, period.” 

Can't justify her entire explanation, but the last part was a bit logical…atleast sounded sensible to me! Recollecting one of the incident from the past, the time when I just got into a job and my niece was in her schooling. Seeing me swipe my debit and credit card, she would always watch it with great wonder. May be she was wondering that how this teeny-tiny plastic card can get so much money. Every time I swipe my debit card, she would remain awestruck and think that I am playing some kind of trick …Abracadabra and boom I get the money and buy things I like. How easy life is! At one instance, she couldn't control her urge of knowing the suspense and asked me what kind of trick it is. I gave her a very basic explanation that she has to complete her studies, get into a job and then she will get that magic card with her name on it. She had a gloomy face and said that she wanted to grow up fast and wished time flies soon. Poor girl, she doesn't know the hard work, sacrifices and determination that lies beneath this magic card. My basic explanation didn't really covered the waterfront, there are much more that are left unsaid and there are things she might not understand. I can’t deny the fact that every time I say ‘no’ to my kid who always wanted to try his hands on driving but barely could reach the ABC’s (Accelerator, Clutch, Break), I would rather explain him that he needs to grow up like us to get the license (well, he is 3 and half but he do understand about license) and start driving. He exclaims in his little voice “Mom, I want to grow up fast and drive a Ferrari!” What I really regret about his idea is, it is really beautiful to watch him fly but with each step he takes I always remind myself to enjoy this….enjoy this stage where I can hold that tiny hands, sing incy wincy spider along with him and experience that pleasure in small things. Seeing him grow makes me realise that time is slipping so fast. I want to hold onto my boy and bond with that innocence. Because thinking about the future, he may leave the childhood behind! I just remembered Johnny Connolly’s words from ‘The book of Lost things’ – “For in every adult there dwells the child that was, and in every child there lies the adult that will be.” 

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Regrets from past always fill our present and make us long to go back to the childhood. My husband has always regretted a simple instance in his life which has altered the course of his actions to pursue his dream.  But he made a choice to leave behind the past and to notice what lies in front of him. The choice we make liberates us from the regret. My grandfather has this habit of sharing with me the reminiscence of his childhood and early stages of his life. Being an avid listener, I loved spending time with him. His face would lit up every time he speaks about his past. At one instance, I asked him “ Grandpa, Have you ever felt going back to the past and live that life which brought all this happiness to you? “ He laughed at my question and said “Child, I made sure that I always describe the best parts of my life but has never told you the hardship, difficulties and hurdles I went through. I am contended with the life I have. Don’t you see? Seeing you kids growing up happy and comfortable with such a privilege of not knowing the hardships and difficulties is my greatest accomplishment. I just want to spend the rest of the days without any regrets and wish to die in peace “. His dream came true. He had no regrets and his death was a very peaceful one!

We start as a simple creature and grow up to become a complicated one, fretting about little things, holding all the grudges and constantly worrying about future instead of living the moment. There is no joy in picking up the regrets from the past but in finding happiness in simple things. Laugh at your mistakes and live your dreams. Start looking at the world in the eyes of a child.  And there you are…living the life of a kid again!!

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional – Tom Wargo

How busy is too busy ?

Have you felt lately that most of the people that you meet are caught up in the cult of busyness….Are you too annoyed with the never changing friends’ chat status as ‘crazy busy’ ? Does it made you to think …Is she busy forever? Or she does want people to perceive that she has no time to answer your totally-irrelevant-and-waste-of-time-conversation! From my vantage point, this is what happens with the busyness phenomena. Sometime people feel embarrassed or caught in the FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and terrified to openly admit that they have some free time. They doesn't want to put themselves in a situation where they are called obsolete. It is like a slap to one’s pride! They find this busyness phenomena cool…’hectic schedule-busy with meeting-crazy- catch you later’ lingo has definitely added a touch of glamour to the social status. Remember, busyness is a symptom. The scary part is that you are indiscriminately ignoring more significant things in life, habituated with an easy excuse!

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It’s good to be busy…it is a good feeling…good to be engaged and stay in that way to keep yourself away from boredom and emptiness…but there is always a difference between being busy and being fruitful. I am a believer of John Lennon’s saying ‘Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans ‘. By being busy we forget some precious opportunities and wow moments that would take your personal and professional lives to one step ahead or a whole new level. Being busy has some ground rules. But what irks me so much is that some stays or like to stay busy forever giving others a ‘not-so-idle’ stance towards them or simply put ‘ my time is so valuable than yours’  to let others know that they are totally “buried” and grounded for the rest of the day...or weeks or months or forever ! This thing called busy is cool, brag-worthy and understandable but not always. Most of the time, it turns out to be miscommunicated. I am not intended to belittle anyone’s hardship but for once, I would like someone to prioritize, acknowledge and respond to ones that spend their valuable time too and are as busy as you!

Being a WAHM, I got attracted to the concept of time management - spending the entire day focused, prioritising work and personal time. My day will be packed with work and house chores. Well, if you are working outside your home, then house chores will never concern you until you come back home at the end of the day. The most productive time I find is 1. When my folks leave to work and school respectively 2. My toddler’s nap time. Capitalising on naptime is the most effective strategy I have learnt while working at home since I get at least two to three hours to finish up some major tasks of my assignment. But I feel okay to push aside my work when my kiddo is feeling ignored because I don’t feel I could accomplish anything when you have a fussy toddler around. I also find it interesting to give him some colouring stuffs to work with and sometimes play with him for a while. Because, once he had his ‘mom’ fill then he is happy to play by himself. I never take personal calls during work time unless it is emergency. I have this unique privilege of ‘understanding’ from my parents, husband and some of my close friends who knew my work hours and never hesitate to call me back during my leisure time. For other calls, I always make sure I call them back during the ‘me’ time- where I take time to catch up with friends, pamper myself, attend missed phone calls and watch some tele. I find the importance of people spending their valuable time to call me and hence I acknowledge them with my fair share of calling them back…In this way, missed calls had never been lost calls! While I try to steer the conversation well away from how busy I am, I try to strike up an interesting conversation piece that totally deviates me from my hectic day.

Have you felt the power of a pause? Instead of ending up frazzled, slow down to connect to yourself for a moment. Self-audit on what you have achieved by squeezing up so much time for the day. Prioritize things. Unplug and pause for a moment to get rejuvenated…after all you have to compliment your own accomplishments and milestones for the day. We are busy because we say we are…! There is nothing called busy… it’s about priorities. Next time, try to replace your word choice from ‘I am busy and I have no time’ to ‘It’s not a priority right now!’ Sounds perfect right? In this hyper-competitive world, everyone is caught up in the frenzy roller coaster ride. It is vital to stay ahead of competition but it is equally important to prioritize your relationship, passion and creativity to bring the real you. Why not pause for a moment in the busyness? Stop to talk with someone, appreciate a beautiful weather, take time to laugh at a silly joke, enjoy unique moments with people you love and create memories. Break the busyness and discover yourself!

3 Friends every woman need

Sitting at the coffee shop, I saw a group of teen girls flocking to the café, giggling, chatting and teasing each other. They sounded happy and unassuming of what future holds for them. They were not sure whether they would end up growing together and their friendship would survive throughout the “M” stage - Moving, Marriage, Motherhood. Whether they will get together again in the same coffee shop after years of transformation, from young and charming girls into fine women. It all hinges on each girl in that group. It is a string each girl holds to keep the bond together….a bond of friendship!

I never had such thoughts when I met my girls. I didn't have a slightest belief that we would be as happy as happy as we were in teens and still have our lives together. Through time, we have evolved from the single carefree life to a super mom life supporting each other through thick and thin. I realized that life does not slow down and fall into place just because we are old enough. Whether they are around the corner or in another time zone, a phone call away or at the doorstep, just knowing they are there gives a great sense of comfort. Of Course, I feel nice to hear “Where the hell have you been?” “What happened to you phone? Has your kid dropped it into the sink again?” “Can we meet up this week?”…”Today, 1 PM, Lunch at my house…No questions..!” As we sat together, I couldn't help but feel that we are 19 again eating lunch together at our college cafeteria…laughing at every silly jokes. That “Friendilicious” moment is worth remembering thousand times. There is a history between all the girls. We know each other so well…the days we got a job, ended up “engaged to be married”, when we tied the knots, sharing the joy of pregnancy, whining over the parenting nightmares..(Well you need a momtourage). They were my SOS, Life coach, Frenemy and kindred soul. It doesn't matter where we live, what we own, the clothes we wear, the car we have…we don't need to impress each other. We know our history (our life so far), geography (every step we take and every place we go) and chemistry (togetherness) so far!

'They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style.' I am a fan of SATC and has watched it “I don't remember how many” times!! For me, seeing this is like seeing my friends! It brings the essence of friendship at its finest. Every woman should have these characters in their life…to have each other’s back, supporting through tough times, make your brightest day brighter, who are not too afraid to be real and even says the darndest thing when you are wrong. I am lucky to have these 3 characters in my life:

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Miranda

The Miranda I have is a motivator. She juggles between work and kids and still finds time to stick around when I need her. She inspires me and gives that little nudge of “Go for it!” to do the things I always wanted to do. Not afraid to keep it real, she gives insightful advice to defuse situations or when taking a tough call, comparing herself “I have been there”. She is fearless and has no-nonsense attitude, doesn't do a nod for every conversation we do. She has an obsessive tendency to plan everything right from a last minute meet up to a day-long outing. I can truly count on her and when I think I need her, she would be already on her way!

Charlotte

My charlotte is the kind- hearted soul and sweetest girl in our group. Being a classy friend, she rarely disagrees to our opinions. The one who may not always have the answers, but she understands. She finds nothing joyous than to have everyone around for lunch on a dull and bleak weekday afternoon. Every day is sunny day with her huge and fascinating family who treats us like we are part of them. Having someone who is selfless, compassionate and listens to all your ramblings and help you find the answers within yourself is nothing but pure joy!

Samantha

I needed a friend who is nothing like me. Learning from someone who has a degree of opposition and conflicting views helped me to overcome my negatives. My Samantha is cool, more open and level-headed. She is the one to go if all you need is gasp of fresh air away from daily routine and all the parenting woes. I feel lighter and happier being with her. She will never be there when we need her but jumps out of nowhere to bring that party mood. She never plans and though she does, she never executes! We felt good to have someone who wakes up late, miss her train, forget something and still be cool!

Almost 12 years and we are still going strong. Another 12 years from now, I can imagine us sitting in the coffee shop talking about “Project midlife”- how to make the most of midlife together! I have a motivator, a listener and a cool-headed friend…I love them all and I love them differently. Girls, Thanks for being there for me. You people are awesome! XoXo!!

My memoirs of cooking

Fresh out of college and just 1 year into work, I got a call from an unknown manager from an unknown team looking for people with a niche skill. I got a special training for this so called product and hence I got selected with few interactions in the client interview. In a week's time, I have to join the team in Munich....what?? I couldn't believe my ears...I have to travel...Though I had traveled before as far as India, I had never really been outside...and that too to my most dreamt destination Europe!! I was so wallowed up in excitement that I forgot about work, forgot about the new team, new manager. All I had in mind was Europe...Europe...!!As a rookie traveler, I started packing my things...I made a checklist...I planned everything. Well yeah, I am a planning freak. I bought all the winter clothes (got to know from colleagues that it was freezing cold in there),ready to eats, a small pressure cooker (from my mom's checklist...now u know where I got this planning thing),spices, sufficient clothes...and all set to go. But my mom always had a "But-Can-She?" kind of expression right from the beginning till I waved her goodbye...But I couldn't make it out....since my brain had "out of memory error" since I had 99.99% of it filled with European dreams !
Reaching Munich, I met the kind-hearted (I will later explain why) Mrs. Christine and her little daughter Anna. I had to share Mrs. Christine’s apartment since I could not find any PG accommodation.Small and cozy room, a snow filled balcony and an artistic kitchen(Christine loves artifacts and there were a lot decorating the kitchen).I felt comfortable...comfortable enough to stay in a distant land and thank god she spoke English!( there was no need to use my "Learn German in 30 days" book and end up looking stupid all the time).Mrs. Christine made no rules in the rental agreement but she made an oral agreement of kitchen usage…"You can't use the kitchen till 7:30 a.m."…Well….’No big deal’, this is what I had in back of my mind since the office timing is at 9:00 a.m.

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That was the first day morning to work. Having freshened up I waited patiently for my turn to make breakfast. I had to pack my box for the lunch too. A menu was spontaneously running in my mind. Bread and omelet for breakfast and rice and daal for lunch. After Christine finished up with her cooking, I stepped into her artistic kitchen. Since I was not hungry enough, I thought I could first start with making lunch. Like an amateur cook, I carefully listened to Christine’s instructions on kitchen usage. I took my pressure cooker and with utmost care measured the rice and water level. I remembered how my mom tried to explain me the measurements like a pro and I just bobbed my head not knowing that it is the basis for cooking. A mathematical calculation was running in my mind....cup of rice: cup of water...after some addition, subtraction and confusion I placed the cooker on the electric stove. I felt like I accomplished the most herculean task. As I turned around, I was awestruck. Amidst all the cooing and yelling by little Anna, Christine stood there staring at me. She came right towards me and asked “Do you know what you are doing?” I sheepishly nodded my head. For a moment, Christine seemed to me like Gordon Ramsay....and...I felt like the most stressful masterchef contestant. Seeing my anxiety symptoms, she left the place thinking 'Let's wait and see what this kid is up to? ‘I sighed and quickly glanced at my buddy who is gonna save my day. He has already started venting and I had to place the pressure regulator on the steam vent. My mom's instruction no.2 was 'Wait for three whistles and then switch off the stove’. I was quite happy that everything seems to be in place...What a perfect day! My wait for the whistle began. As I waited, my thoughts travelled back down the memory lane...For those of you who doesn't know about my background and experience with cooking, I had never been to kitchen till that day! During my school and college days, my mom never asked me to help her in the kitchen...because she thinks I already had a tiresome day in my college and studying (ah...She had never seen me catching a few winks with my face buried in the book)....Even when she insists me, it was not that difficult to cajole her with the cliché “I am busy studying “.It always worked. I have read only one page in the whole cooking chapter .i.e., making tea! I know what you are thinking....but wait. I was then inspired by the movie Ratatouille and Chef Auguste Gusteau's catch phrase “Anyone can cook.”
Suddenly, I heard Anna’s remark pointing to the cooker. I couldn't understand anything. Maybe she is questioning Christine about this new entry in their kitchen. I could see Christine giving me another “something-fishy” look and I understood she had exact apprehension of what I am trying to achieve. Dodging that awkward moment, I went back to see why there is no whistle till now. I waited but in vain. Anna seeing me probing into the cooker, went closely to catch a glimpse of it. Suddenly it whistled and Anna got a fright of her life! She ran screaming like a banshee (with a higher decibel than the whistle) and went into hiding under the dining table. I tried to convince her that it is not as dangerous as it sounds. But that poor girl doesn't seem to understand English. She sneaked away and went into hiding again just like a soldier trying to camouflage himself in a warfare before the attack. Before she recovered from the shock, there were 2 consecutive whistles. The tranquil apartment reverberated to the whistles. Now, a much serious Christine came towards me and said 'You know, people here will never gonna like such sound in the apartment' ....I thought 'What? This guy has been whistling at Indian women in their kitchen since ages. The place where I come from, people believe this little miracle can cook anything from chickpeas to meat in a jiffy with its signature "n whistles"(where n is anywhere between 3 to how many ever)' Pushing away all my thoughts behind, I kept my cool though I felt like a pressure cooker with all the stress, anxiety steaming up on the inside. I waited for the settling time (Not mine!) of the pressure cooker...with a jittery feeling whether all this efforts is worth the outcome. Can I see the fluffy white rice? In the quest of revealing my ‘Moment of truth', I nervously opened the cooker and started to get the burnt smell....What am I? How come all my senses went on a temporary shutdown? Why didn't I get this burnt smell before! I had a mini heart attack seeing the burnt rice, 100% burnt...no point of recovery...I waited almost an hour for this perfect dish? Wait! It just struck my mind!! My mom told 3 whistles but she never mentioned how long I need to wait for it....I felt like calling my mom "Mom, see what have you done to me...I am going to starve today.” But then, I remembered the way she looked at me all the time till I left....that "But-can-she-?" kind of look...”But can she cook?" May be that's what was running in her mind the whole time I was getting ready.
My stomach started growling. I looked like a mess. “Do you want some apple pie for the lunch?” that was from Christine. Well, how can someone deny a home-made apple pie when they actually ended up with burnt rice for lunch? Or should I take my new recipe to office and introduce it as 'Vietnamese burned rice’. Forget it! I couldn't take my eyes off from Christine's fresh apple pie. Before I could say 'Thanks Christine! You are my guardian angel’, she added one more rule to the oral agreement 'No more whistling thing in the kitchen'..."But Mrs. Christine, this is what my mom taught me" Christine reassured that she will teach me how to cook rice without a pressure cooker the next day. I agreed.
After that incident, I locked up my pressure cooker and Gusteau's catch phrase in my room and went into a learning phase of cooking. Like my mom, Christine is a cooking fanatic. She taught me the basics of cooking and the first one being SAFETY !It will sound a bit melodramatic if I say that I had to travel  hundreds of miles to the other end of the Indian ocean and learn cooking despite my mom’s repeated attempts of failure in teaching me how to cook. That I call as destiny! I lovvvvvvved Christine’s recipes: Chicken schnitzels, apple pie, walnut cake, carrot soup and even the way she made omelet looked like a Picasso’s painting…..Gradually, with lots of ups and downs, twist and turns, I learned to cook (without burning anything).At least I learnt how to handle the knife and appliances, cut vegetables and how to mind a kitchen. Christine’s love lured me into cooking. She even tried an Indian recipe to cheer me up! Her philosophy of cooking was “cook food and serve love”. Having spent the rest of the days with a family who served me enough love, I left Munich taking all the cooking memories with me.
Then the phase of my life took a mandatory turn where I need to cook for someone I love. My husband never complained about my cooking and he would help me in the kitchen. Sometimes, we cook together and find it as a fun way to unwind at a busy day. He loves cooking and always say “Cooking helps you to relax and de-stress. Cooking is not a chore, it is an art…so enjoy doing it” And I would say (when I am really exhausted)...”Well, I agree! But do it every day and then you know” But he really stick to his words and act by that. I had seen him cooking and yes he does it like an art….but a messy artist. He won’t allow me to the kitchen when he cooks. Since, I am the clean-as-you-go type when it comes to cooking, I would rather stand there with a worried look that I had to clean up the kitchen from the scratch. But, he never look back and come up with great dishes. Sometimes, he even keeps his laptop alongside while cooking (piled up among the utensils over the kitchen counter) and cook simultaneously with his favorite chef in YouTube.My mom and brother are ardent fans of his biryani. Gradually, I felt cooking is the best thing you can give for someone you love. I started cooking his most favorite dishes.Initially stumbled, but with practice I gradually picked up.With a dash of spices and condiments, I added my heart and soul into the recipes.With the slice and dice of it, I discovered love and cooking are inseparable.I progressed through the pages in the cooking chapter.I can't say "it runs in the family" but still my dad being a picky eater, he always adds his special touch to what he cooks...he is not a great cook but still when he is on his own, he come up with "health-conscious" recipes.My brother love to experiment with what he cooks and serves to my unsuspecting family and it always worked...I adore his cooking and every time I end up asking him "do you play with your food?".With the little history of my mom at the start of the post, I can't wait to say that my Mother-in-law has a fan club for her exotic cooking skills..she moves in the kitchen with ease and makes perfect recipes out of thin air !Drawing culinary inspiration was easy but pleasing them with cooking was really a tougher task but I aced it in no time!I felt love every time when someone complimented my recipes...or when someone turns nostalgic with the flavours...or when someone makes that special request for a dish.
I am yet to explore the pages in the cooking chapter...but I still stick onto the Gusteau's philosophy " Any one can cook"...but adding a little dash of spice to it..."Anyone can cook for love!"

Been there,Heard it,Seen it,Done it !

Have you ever ran into someone who asks “Do you have any tips into parenting ?” “How do you tackle your kid's tantrums?”...”How to cope up with feeding a fussy toddler?” and recently I even had some really thoughtful questions(Wow!)..”How can I get my baby sleep through the night?”….Personally I had struggled in this part...My son never slept through the night till he was 1 and half years old...He will be hungry all night, as if he had not eaten anything the whole day..! Well..I thought it is the natural part of becoming a parent..or because he had a dream in the middle of the night of some neighbourhood kid grabbing his favourite (mini) mini cooper or it is a mystery unsolved for centuries.....Every time I meet my son's pead, I shoot this most expected question ”My son is not sleeping through the night..What should I do?” I sounded like an SOS mom who is desperate for a night's sleep.....And my pead would reveal the most expected answer for my million dollar question,”Sleep patterns vary for every baby and night awakening is common” But I somehow managed to establish a sleep routine for my little one.....It was my little research of getting to know him better,his comfort,his complete No-No's before sleep...his most favourite pooh bear by his side....all these didn't happen in a night....but I have to practise this sleep rituals with him every night ! In the course of “baby and me” time I got an enlightened parenting idea “A Mommy knows best about her baby”...Anyone can give you a free of cost parenting tip but no one knows better than YOU how best to handle your kid....I am not here to give you the parenting tips which you can get in a click from a list of online mom groups,blogs and forums.But these are some of my personal parenting experiences.

• Believe in your kid and let him be his own role model.Appreciate even the tiny things he does. I always go for “Experience project”-Allow him to experience things in his own way.Don't nag him or push him or constantly pin point that he is on the wrong track.Gently express your opinion and ideas to help him learn better.When my toddler wanted to use the scissor I gave a paper and scissor for him to manoeuvre.I was astonished to see him skillfully handling the scissors and snipping at paper.Now he is inclined to do things like snipping a thread, unbuttoning shirt,wear his shorts.Meantime,I remind him of safety and caution in using sharp things.
• Identify their skills.Do not limit them with what you are interested in.A child's mind is limitless.Hence stay tuned with their world.His interest may be unrealistic but allow him to follow his heart..I had no idea of my son's interest in cars until he pointed out to our car and uttered “Nissan” when he was just 2 !Now that I introduced him to the world of cars,he can very well relate to the names just by looking at the car.
• Teach them the use of money and savings.”Sing a song of sixpence,A pocketful of rye;Four and twenty Blackbirds, Baked in a pie..” How many of us remember having that piggy bank as a child? Allow them to hold the money,know the value and deposit in a piggy bank.Let them learn to spend,save,donate and invest.
• Allow them to help you with house chores.Start young and start now.Start with giving them simple tasks,don't worry about imperfections and reward them for completing the task.Working alongside your little one will cheer you up.My little one is more interested in helping me out with laundry,sorting out groceries from super market,making the bed and folding clothes,wiping off the dinner table.By this way, he never dawdles since he has his favourite tasks lined up.Remember, whenever your kid wants to play outside or watch TV request him to complete a task before doing things he want to.Toddlers will be so happy in helping and hence starting it young help him to grow organised and responsible.
• Don't show your stress.I always make sure my kid does not see the stressed version of me.When you are not yourself due to work related stress,financial or relationship stress,never show them to your kids.When your toddler spills a juice on your favourite dress by mistake and you yell at him despite he had done this hundredth time..then it is time to hold back and think whether it is the stress that is taking toll on you or it is the real you who yelled crazily at your child.I know we can't fake a “casual” look when we are actually in a bad mood.But you can take few minutes to get back to yourself before reacting to your kids.
• Be a relationship role model.A child models everything we do...from the way we express our love to the bonding we make with others.An affectionate parental relationship not only strengthens love between each other but also you and your spouse end up as a relationship role models for your kid.Showing affection when kids are around will make them understand how a relationship should look and they tend to have a happy and healthy marriages as they get older.Kids staying in touch with their grand parents will have a good sense of family history and cultural heritage.My son always love the company of his grandmother since she dedicates lot of time playing,reading to him and telling stories.It is a two way learning.Like a tiny geek he teaches his grandma the nuances of using a tablet and my mom who can't keep up with his pace still love the joy of learning from the little man.Encouraging kids to have a close relationship with their grandparents benefits a healthy development....and of course happy grandparents !
• Allow “free” play.The digital age children needs a play time outside this techno world.Even when I am busy as hell,I make sure to take him to the play area for an evening stroll where he meet with his friends,befriends the new neighbourhood kid and some friendly faces in the apartment.In this way he socialises,shares,make up games and negotiate rules.Playing outdoors help kids with socialising skills,improve their emotional quotient and decision making skills.Allow them to play,explore,discover and have great life experiences!

Happy Parenting :-)

What's with Coffee and my blog name ?

As the Bob Dylan song goes "One more cup of coffee for the road..One more cup of coffee 'fore I go...To the valley below.." Nothing is more relaxing than sipping a piping hot coffee on my couch during my evenings..I never give it up for anything..even when my naughty toddler tries to interfere..That's the best moment of my day.Being a die hard coffee fan or you can say coffee maniac, I always loved to try new flavors. Right from local flavors of filter "capi"(sic) to all time favorite cappuccino till 'not my type' espresso. But unfortunately I am always surrounded by tea lovers, including my hubby! Do you know coffee reduces risk of cancer..(sigh!) well who cares ?!..I Love that taste, Aroma, mmmm...n after all the memories it bring;-)

What would world look like without Coffee? No one would sit and have that little chit chat which relieves their daily stress....Guys will never have a chance to ask " Shall we meet for a coffee?" to the beauty belle they just met.....Work breaks would never been fun....Weekend evenings with family for a coffee time would never happen....All those coffee shop giants might never exist...Oh my god...who wouldn't love Star bucks ?? A world without coffee is a body without soul..!

Photo courtesy : Cafe Coffee day , Memories : First day out with hubby dear after marriage

“No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for "Before Coffee.”

                                             - Cherise Sinclair, Master of the Mount

Coffee brings out the best in me..Be it an ordinary day or a boring one or a real tiring day or the worst one, a perfect cup of coffee would ask me "Hey there ! How was your day?" and keeps all my little secrets..It is a perfect solution when I ask myself " What's wrong with me?" It brings out the best memories...my early college days where we rush to canteen to grab a coffee where we spend helluva time and roar into laughter with all those jokes from the classroom..the hot filter coffee which my mom prepares for me every evening..she makes this specially for me since my entire family loves tea..How my hubby points ( literally tempts me)to a coffee shop every time we are outside...And that pit-stop at every coffee shop in ECR while we are on long drive....

"Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all"

- David Lynch

Did I give justification for why coffee in my blog name ? I don't know..But I am already missing my coffee.. I believe life is nothing but search for a perfect cup...Let's take life one cup at a time...or just get caffeinated !!